标签档案:marriage

在上周庆祝了我们18周年结婚纪念日之后,我在想我想和大家分享一下关于婚姻的事情。明确地,如何拥有一个欣欣向荣的婚姻。

I personally know many marriages where the husband and wife live more as roommates than lovers.这让我难过!因为我从经验中知道婚姻可以是如此美妙的经历。

你可能认为你婚姻不顺的原因,是因为你嫁给了谁。Maybe.在某些情况下,that is true.但我认为很多婚姻都失败了,这并不是因为一个合作伙伴被不可撤销地损坏了货物或完全错了。通常,it is because both partners have issues.因为我们内心都是罪恶的。

让我在这里非常清楚地注意到,我不是在谈论虐待。很明显,if there is an abusive partner,then you need to leave and get help.

如何拥有一个欣欣向荣的婚姻

5 ways to have a thriving marriage

(1) Physical touch.Physical affection is free!There should be plenty of hugs,亲吻,intimacy,只是爱的触摸。Especially for your husband,ladies!他们喜欢触摸和被触摸。不要耸耸肩。不要僵硬拒绝拥抱。Even when you are a little ticked off – melt into his arms and you might be surprised how much better it makes you feel!!

I know,sometimes we kind of wanna be mad at him!We want him to know how frustrated we are.或者我们给他无声的治疗,让他知道我们的僵硬,我们是多么的与众不同。

好啊,go back and read that last paragraph again.真的吗?!Is that a Christ-like way to act?不。If that is why we are refusing cuddles and lovin',then we better check our heart!(did you just read that in John Crist's voice?!!哈哈!!) Anyways,避免身体接触是必然的,,请快速的way to start breaking down closeness in the marriage.

(2)约会夜。坚持!我知道——这条建议也曾让我心烦意乱,直到我意识到“约会之夜”不一定意味着要离开房子或孩子们。We haven't always had extra money for eating out.没关系!You can have dates wherever you are,不管你有什么。

主要目的是在一起,最好是在你能说话的场合。Over the years,we have:
– went on evening walks,,请
–让孩子们早点睡觉,为我们俩准备一顿特别的晚餐(他工作时我装饰过)。,请
–当他检查矿物质时,和他一起骑车,水,或者喂干草(可以带孩子们一起吃!),请
–玩棋盘游戏等。

When we have a little extra money we like to:
– Go to buy a Coke and a chocolate bar at the convenience store,talking on the way there and back,当然。
–出去吃饭。
– Go see a movie.
–出差时一起坐车进城。

我要说(我的男人全心全意地同意),把时间花在远离孩子的地方是非常重要的,偶尔地。We were married before we were parents,and we will be a couple long after the kids leave.

如果你负担不起每年的汽车旅馆住宿,then drop off the kids with grandma or a friend,一天晚上一个人呆在家里。(绝对不能清洗,也不是!!)相信我,孩子们会没事的。Even the most clingy,momma-babies.一旦断奶,把它们扔下来!!Go home,买比萨饼,break out a funny movie,早点睡觉-尽情享受吧!!

我知道你会说:"oh,but we do everything as a family!"好吧。But here's the problem: your kids won't always be there with you.当他们离开的时候——你会认识你的伴侣吗?因为相信我,孩子们在身边的时候,你不会得到同样的一对一。

There is something about connecting with your spouse – making memories together with just the two of you – it builds up a marriage.If you don't believe me,去问问几对婚姻稳固的夫妇,已经结婚15年了。看看他们说什么。😉

如何拥有一个欣欣向荣的婚姻

(3)沟通至关重要。我故意不把这个放在第一位,因为我们都厌倦了听到communication is key!' or maybe that's just me.😀 Haha!不管怎样,是真的,though.We have to be able to talk about everything.

  • No lying or hiding financial things.Be open and give grace.
  • Remind each other of your love for one another.是的,我们知道——不管怎么说,而且经常!!
  • 不要让小牢骚夹在你中间。They will fester and grow until you can't fix it easily.

I know that in a marriage,最终,会有大事发生的。Something that leans on the very door of your soul.你们两个看不到的东西。无论是宗教差异,a matter of integrity,some moral dilemma,育儿理念——不管怎样。在某个时刻,你可能会面临一个很大的障碍。The answer is not to just meekly accept the other person's point of view.那只会在你的灵魂中开始一种痛苦,总有一天会吞噬你。我相信有更好的方法来处理它。

  • 为它祈祷。祈祷上帝的意志能被双方清楚地看到。为智慧祈祷。为团结祈祷。
  • Ask other trusted,Godly friends for advice.Sometimes we are so close to the issue that we just can't see the situation clearly.Be ready to hear that your spouse may be the one in the right!!
  • Talk about it.要清楚。甚至告诉他们你的感受。But stay calm.尖叫和叫喊是不可接受的。"You never…!"和“你总是…"are not ok.当你对某个特定的问题感到不安时,不要攻击他们的性格。继续谈论话题。Tell them you really want to understand and see it from their point of view,and that you'd really like if they try to see it from yours.

如何拥有一个欣欣向荣的婚姻

(4)一起去睡觉。我曾经认为这对我们的婚姻很重要。但我听过这么多夫妇提起这件事——我认为这一定是一个普遍的问题。但事情是这样的;每天晚上都有两头。There are the evening and the morning.如果你的配偶想一起睡觉,把你的晚间活动改为早上。

I know,早上5点起床浏览Pinterest或看你的节目或打扫你的房子都没那么有趣。结婚18年后,I can tell you that a loving,close relationship with your husband is far more valuable than a clean house or any personal goals.相信我。

A couple things you can do:

  • Rearrange your day so your cleaning is done before bedtime.Yes,it's possible,但是你可能不得不停止检查你的手机,让孩子们参与进来。
  • 放弃一个节目或DVR,白天看。(seriously?你想在电视节目上大发雷霆吗?!!(见表1)
  • 比平时起得早,然后做你的事情。早晨是美好的,妈妈们安静的时候!学会爱他们。

再一次,这是一个建立你们两人之间关系的问题。In the present moment,it seems small.But over 10,15,20 years,these tiny habits build up into thick walls.You get to decide if they are walls between you or walls of protection around your marriage.

你得决定它们是否是你之间的墙,或是婚姻周围的保护墙。Click To Tweet

(5) Eat breakfast together.我认识的大多数妻子don't和他们的男人一起吃早餐,say their husband doesn't care,or doesn't like to eat breakfast.But oddly enough,很多丈夫听说我每天给丈夫做早餐,评论他们会如何享受。

I have an idea… how about you ask him if he would enjoy it if you would get up and eat breakfast with him?If he likes to cook breakfast – lucky you!你可以只吃谷类食品。If you don't eat breakfast – no worries,和他坐在一起。You don't have to talk.你甚至可以打电话,(gasp!!) as long as you both are ok with it.

But I'm telling you,这是另一个把心和灵魂结合在一起的小东西。是的,you可以change your habits.🙂

Be sure to hug and kiss and say"I love you"在他去上班之前。If you do this every day for 20 years,你会说I love you"7,比你睡觉的时候多300倍。你将分享7个,300 cups of coffee,彼此微笑7,300次,比那些不一起开始新的一天。You will share 7,300 more kisses and hugs!我想说这是完全值得的。

No,it's not a big deal.But what if,从长远来看,它是?What if it is not the big stuff,但微小的,日常生活,创造强大,lasting,爱的婚姻?一次一个小小的爱,几千天来,加上一个坚固的婚姻之家,它能让你保持温暖和关心。堵住那些让冷空气进来的小裂缝。每天为你的婚姻工作。Never let it grow boring or stagnant.

如何拥有一个欣欣向荣的婚姻

没有浪费,没有不必要的爱的行为。It seems fruitless now,but keep after it.年复一年,you will see the wonderful return on investment that you made.

These are some things that I believe have helped Cliff and I to enjoy a close,热爱婚姻。We have had our hard spots,当然,but always God has brought us through.

最近,I was saying:"很抱歉,你不得不忍受我的这些困难。”克里夫回答说:我受不了你。我们经历过一些艰难的事情,但我们一起经历过。”"

这就是为什么它值得。一起经历一切.

Ranch dates and 3 tips for making them work.

3 Tips to make Work for YouIt's often hard to leave the ranch for a traditional date night.好像总有什么事情发生,或者我们正处于“旺季”。(we have lots of busy seasons.😉 ) But we have found that with a little effort and some goodwill – almost any day can be turned into a date!我以前写过牧场日期,but today I wanted to share three tips for the best ranch dates.

愿意

这是我最大的障碍,也许对你也一样?我是说,we have to-do lists as long as our fridge,如果我们随机地去接我们的丈夫-我们会更落后!!

但事情是这样的;有时候我们需要休息,而不是检查清单上的东西。将有总是是一个长长的清单,but today will not come again.We need to step back from the crazy now and then and see the big picture.Will we let another summer (or spring,fall,winter!!) go past without taking a few hours off to just enjoy each other?Your husband is worth it.YOU are worth it.你可以每周花几个小时或两个小时,for ranch dates.

最近,我在城里买了一包迷你糖果。孩子们每人吃了一个,然后我的大女儿伸手去拿她的第二个,小女儿说:嘿!Why canyou再来一个?!""
"因为我很值得,"她冷冷地回答。
我不得不咯咯地笑。
"I'd hate to see the pile of candy bars that you are worth!"我告诉她了。"It would be quite a mountain.""

点是你和你丈夫是值得的。Cleaning,洗衣店,dishes… they will be there when you get back.You need to make your marriage a priority.

Be Creative

牧场上的生活千差万别。From spring calving to fall shipping,we do it all.所以你不能指望每周五晚上,请like town jobs.Weekends may or may not be as busy as weekdays,取决于你为谁工作。有时候你在晚上一个合适的时间下车,有时工作到睡觉时间,你累得一晚上都没有精力睡觉。

事情是,你必须有创造力,然后说:“哦,你必须在超级跑车之后再骑一次?Let me go along to help and we'll make it a date!""
或者:“Bummer you have to feed on Sunday but I will ride in the tractor with you,get the gates,and we can make it a date!""
或者:“Yes!Let's go fencing together!We can take a picnic,把婴儿的玩具笔放在卡车的床上,会很有趣的!""
当你开始跳出框框思考的时候,you can find many opportunities for ranch dates!!

Be Understanding

尽管我们有最好的计划,即使是牧场日期也会出错。突然你丈夫不得不放弃一切去帮助别人。或者把公牛放回去。Or you find a sick calf while you are fixing fence together,(that happened to us yesterday!) or the tractor breaks down mid-feed,或是农场的任何问题都会破坏你的计划。

Don't sweat it.Just go with the flow.记得,it's ranch life,there will be another day and another ranch date soon if you are willing and creative!Try to not get upset or hurt feelings or take it personally.就说吧”oh well"很快再试一次。你丈夫可能比你更沮丧,错过了一段时间。一点善意和一个微笑会使许多令人沮丧的情况缓和下来。You can be that soothing balm in your marriage and your home.Proverbs 15:11彼得3:4

一点善意和一个微笑会使许多令人沮丧的情况缓和下来。Click To Tweet

牧场日期示例

昨天早上我的男人为了健康不得不骑马。我去帮忙,but mainly for fun.这是一次愉快的旅行。在这片草地上有一个里姆洛克式的乡村,这是最酷的地方!I asked my man to snap a picture of me riding there – because I am often behind the camera and rarely have photos of myself riding.

3牧场日期提示3牧场日期小贴士。

I rode down one draw (ravine) while he rode through the main bunch of cows.然后我们相遇,每个人都骑下更多的平局,检查每只小牛。There are some deep little cricks in that pasture – I need to take some better pictures of them,next time.3牧场日期小贴士。3牧场日期小贴士。

我们回家吃午饭,then rode back out in the afternoon with the ATV loaded with fencing supplies.看,we normally have Saturday afternoon off work,but there is an issue of the neighbors bull and a flimsy fence… Well,我们得修好栅栏,星期六还是不星期六。

My husband assured me that I didn't have to go along."I don't want to mess up your whole Saturday",请he said.

"We can take some Cokes along,把它叫做约会!"I said with a smile.他咯咯笑了。"如果天气变暖,the mosquitoes will be out,那将是一个相当“约会”!""

我只是笑了笑,向他保证我们有杀虫剂。😉 But we were scarcely out there when I noticed that he had his own personal mosquito cloud hovering over him,so I made him stand still while I grabbed a quick snapshot.😀 Thankfully,the wind picked up and we didn't fight mosquitoes too bad.3牧场日期小贴士。

What did happen,was rain.We had two quick rain showers,and they are not pleasant!Even on a hot summer day,怀俄明州的雨很冷!风吹来,雨点打在冰冷的被单上。昨天还不错,就暴雨而言,but I still wimped out and sat in the ATV until it blew past.不是我的男人——他很坚强,只是突然穿上雨衣,继续工作。

3牧场日期小贴士。

Making memories with ranch dates

我们在小雨中开车回家,喝我们的可乐,享受在一起的快乐。I read somewhere that the more memories two people create together,the closer they feel to each other.我相信这是真的。我们做出的小选择,在一起与做分开的事情,它们加起来。

Over 18 years of our relationship,I can see where every hour spent together adds another brick in the sturdy fortress of our love for each other.The stronger that fortress,the less likely it is to crumble.我们有大量彼此分享的记忆,我们可以回首往事,重新生活;一起。

这就是为什么我会限制我的记忆,和我的女朋友一起创造冒险。我想和我丈夫分享最美好的回忆和经历,,请所以我们的关系是我生命中最牢固的.I love doing fun stuff with my friends,but I want to share the best times with my husband,to have the MOST shared memories with him.

在我们彼此相爱的坚固堡垒里,每一个小时在一起都会增添一块砖头。The stronger that fortress,the less likely it is to crumble.Click To Tweet

为彼此腾出时间,如果需要的话,把孩子带过来,let your idea of a perfect housewife go… your marriage and your husband and yes,,请你自己的灵魂尽可能频繁地需要牧场日期!!

酸败酸盐的3个提示

雪百合

西戈百合在开阔的草原上盛开。我不知道它如何在我们恶劣的气候下生存。飓风来袭,the biting cold and blazing dry heat… but it waves and bends with the wind,飘动着娇嫩的花瓣,却永不破碎。

我们所生活的世界是严酷的,对基督教婚姻充满敌意。撒旦想要毁灭我们,,请世界嘲笑我们,我们自己的私欲是一场持久的战斗。但上帝的恩典,,请by the power of Christ,请we too,能够经受住每一场风暴,继续向所有遇见我们的人展示上帝的美丽婚姻设计。

你可以找到更多新牧场妻子小贴士here.

雪百合

结婚31天:好好谈谈他。

结婚31天:好好谈谈他。

你意识到你话语的力量吗?你可以通过你对丈夫的评价来建立你的丈夫或者把他打倒。当你说你丈夫的好话时,you are respecting him,you are showing others you care about him,你在提醒自己你对他的爱。我确信你听到过一些女人对他们的丈夫冷嘲热讽和嘲笑。只是坐不好,是吗?我是说,即使这是一个有趣的故事或其他什么——当我们感觉到这些话的尖锐性时,我们会感到很难过。

We need to be careful to respect our men with our words.也许你只是在分享一个关于他的有趣故事,但要小心——有些有趣的故事不应该被分享。If you are feeling defensive about it,ask yourself if you would like if the situation was reversed?如果他讲你的故事呢?这是一个简单的测试,看它是否真的很有趣,或者应该让自己知道。

当众说好话。即使他有缺点——可能特别是因为他有缺点!赞美他好的一面,tell others what a great dad he is,what a hard worker,多棒的猎人啊,牛仔,farmer,无论什么。它能帮助你记住你为什么喜欢他,一方面。It will reach his ears at some point,同样,鼓励他。

The way we talk about people shows how we expect them to act.Click To Tweet

The way we talk about people shows how we expect them to act.If you are always telling your girlfriends how your husband works late without calling,你会注意到的每次他这样做。Soon,他总是这样。That issue becomes bigger than it is.山鼠丘,你知道的。

但如果,when that happens,you brush it off with:"well he is working on that extra project",请专注于他是多么的专注和努力——你会感激而不是抱怨。

Action:想想你一直在向朋友抱怨的一个领域。Ask yourself what your husband is good at –  start focusing on the good side of this issue,and being grateful.每当这个问题出现的时候——提醒你自己,从现在起你只会把它交给上帝,and share only the good trait.

你丈夫把厨房打扫了一晚上后把它弄得一团糟。You could whine about to your friends,或者,你应该感谢他吃了你做的任何东西却没有抱怨,etc.

阅读本系列的其余部分在这里。

结婚31天;荷尔蒙和女性。

结婚31天;激素与美国

Do you ever feel like you are so OVER dealing with hormones?!你知道荷尔蒙和女人是怎么回事;首先,你会因为洒牛奶而哭泣。But the next two days you are just mad as a cow who's stuck in a bog!Your husband can't do anything right – you become like your 6 year old who screams:""Mooomm!!!He's looking at me!!"如果你幸运的话,你可能会有一周的感觉有点正常,在重新开始整个循环之前。

荷尔蒙和女性,2 tips to help pms

牛卡在沼泽里。(我们把她救了出来)

OK,所以这可能有点夸张。But you get my point.这很难。我们的荷尔蒙到处都在变化,and these changes happen every month.上下左右,直到我们只想蜷缩着睡上一个星期。也许这正是我们需要的。

不管怎样,我的观点是,you KNOW that your cycle does crazy things to your feelings,所以不要,I repeat:do not在你疯狂的日子里做出重大决定。Don't get all crazy because"他并不真的爱我……”或“他从来没有这样做过,他一定不会真正关心我……”188金宝博官网别沿着那条路走!机会是,两天后他会再次显得非常可爱。And it is not fair to your man,把你的身体问题告诉他。

Know your cycle.跟踪你的症状几个月。See what days you feel cranky,and which you feel weepy.保持跟踪。Yes it is a pain,但它将极大地帮助你知道即将发生的事情——知道将要发生的事情。你可能会觉得this is real,请但是你看着日历说:""你知道吗?maybe I'm overreacting.""

注意你的健康。照顾好你的健康是你的责任。Why should everyone around you suffer because you are too lazy to research what could help you?或者是因为你太吝啬了,不能每月多付几美元买一种有帮助的产品。I am not a fan of drugs,for the record.I have found much better help in the natural remedies.But either way,try some things.

My best results have come from two things:Red Raspberry Tea精油。I alternate them,some months taking tea daily,下一次摩擦ClaryCalm·坡在我的腹部。他们都帮了大忙!I found the tea helps more with cramping,这种油对情绪波动有更多的帮助。两个都试一下,看看什么对你最有帮助!!

向上帝寻求帮助。我们不能把日常生活和精神生活分开。我们星期天的神圣不高于星期一的神圣。你的上帝比你的荷尔蒙大吗?你用你的荷尔蒙作为你易怒和不愉快的借口吗?当你了解自己的健康状况时,you can still be Christ-like and kind.求上帝用他的灵充满你,让你控制自己的情绪。

Yes,这可能很难。但把它看成是学校的高年级——一旦你通过了低年级,然后你继续上高年级。If you always stay in first grade,你永远不会上大学!But God wants us to grow and learn!Let's not use physical problems as an excuse for our human nature.Pray for a sweet spirit when you are feeling yucky.为你如何计划你的日子祈祷智慧。Pray for wisdom to know how to treat your body.

我们星期天的圣洁不比星期一的圣洁大。Click To Tweet

Work with your body.当你感觉不好的时候不要计划太多。(这就是为什么你跟踪你的自行车) As much as possible,keep your schedule easy.为那些你觉得“正常”的日子计划更大的事情。提醒自己这是荷尔蒙在说话。Don't do or say anything rash.Don't set up marriage counseling,或者对社交媒体评论太多。当你处于“糟糕的荷尔蒙模式”时,一条简短的短信会破坏你的友谊。(相关:don't throw a friendship out the door from one snippy text.也许那天她是荷尔蒙!!!(见表1)

On the worst days,提醒自己这是荷尔蒙在说话。Don't do or say anything rash.阿188金宝博官网兰奇妈妈Click To Tweet

小睡一下,按时睡觉,多吃巧克力和咖啡。(raises hand) Sometimes I tell my man:"我今天很情绪化,一两天之后就会好起来。我很抱歉,it's nothing to do with you!"That way he knows it is just hormones,别担心我疯了!哈!That doesn't give me excuse to be mean.这只会帮助他理解为什么我会为Facebook上的一张婴儿照片而流泪。😀

有些人从网络营销类产品中找到了真正的解脱。我试过几次了,but the  only one that given me relief,是精油。
你可以在这里找到那些->Essential Oils.

人类和女人,两个家庭补救措施,以帮助每月周期

和红覆盆子叶茶(必须是从叶,不是浆果)。I drink one cup a day and if I am faithful about that,这对抽筋有很大帮助!你可以在这里找到它->Red Raspberry Tea.


如果你在每月的周期中找到了帮助,please comment and share with us what has helped you!!

结婚31天:教育孩子尊重。

结婚31天,teach the kids respect

向你丈夫表达爱意的一个重要方法就是教孩子们尊重他。他们了解你的态度和意见,所以,如果你总是尊重和爱,他们很有可能是,也是。

When they are small,把爸爸回家的事闹大了。带着他们冲到门口迎接他。Let your husband know that you and the kids can't wait till he gets home!!

有时给他特别治疗。或者一直这样!这是一种安全的标志——而不是顺从——当一个妻子因为爱他而对自己的男人感到满足时。让孩子们在冬天给他带热饮,夏天给他带冷饮。为他做一些特别的事情,比如清理卡车或者叠衣服,这是一种荣誉。孩子们喜欢为他们爱的人做特殊的事情。This practice will help them see their dad as someone who needs to be respected.(for his position,if not his character)

随着年龄的增长,无论他在场还是缺席,都不要无礼地谈论他。孩子们自然不喜欢别人说父亲坏话——就像他们自然不喜欢任何人说母亲坏话一样!Sometimes they will come to you with questions when you must tell the truth – don't ever lie – but you can still be respectful.

"Yes,爸爸做了这个决定,我们可能不同意,但我们仍然需要尊重他。有时我们不同意,但上帝已经把爸爸作为这个家庭的领袖,and we are going to honor him.""

不要在孩子面前打架。Always present a united front.如果爸爸不告诉他们,但他们来找你——你也说不。如果你不同意你丈夫的意见,那没关系。你和他站在一起。你支持他。Let them know that you will enforce dad's rules.你可以私下讨论分歧,later.

我的孩子们都知道我是个叛徒!(我并不为此自豪)所以他们偶尔会来找我。对不起,但是没有。如果爸爸说不,then I say no too!偶尔失望不会伤害孩子,但有不团结的父母可能会伤害他们。

Respect your husband by teaching your kids to respect him.It may change your marriage!!

阅读本系列的其余部分在这里。

结婚31天,No disrespect.

I have covered this topic throughout the series,but today I wanted to point out several specific ways that we disrespect our husbands – sometimes without knowing it!I have been guilty of some of these,悲哀地。I ask God often to show me where I can grow in respecting my man.

结婚31天;no disrespect,,请

  • Correcting him in public.There is a time to speak,and there is a time to be silent.当你丈夫在讲故事或讲述经历时,现在是你保持沉默的时候。如果他说这事发生在一月份真的很重要吗?when it真的?发生在二月?你叔叔弗雷德是76岁而不是74岁真的有关系吗?当一个男人想讲一些故事时,我会退缩,但如果他妻子不纠正一些细微的细节,他就无法通过两句话。这是不尊重,女士,and it needs to stop.让他讲故事。
  • 告诉他该怎么做。There is a fine line between asking for help and ordering him around.我坚信寻求帮助。但我同样坚定,命令你丈夫做事是不礼貌的。我们要小心说话的语气…

    "她的声音很温柔,低而软,在女人身上也很出色。”马英格斯,,请草原上的小镇。

  • Never wanting intimacy.I know — your hormones are all over the place,你喝醉了,累了,你厌倦了小人物的触摸,hugging,拉着你all day long.但如果你不想在卧室里变得性感,他会觉得自己被人忽视。我爱本文来自Sheila Gregoire。(我最喜欢的resource论亲密关系

    "You know the things that drain you: talking to certain people,housework,running around after kids,paid work,chauffeuring,行程安排,所有进入正常生活的事物。这些事情并不一定是坏事,but you need to figure out what also charges you…"格雷哥里

  • 不要纠正他的父母教育。如果婴儿不用特制的肥皂洗头,没关系,or the diaper gets on backwards,或者他让他们吃的糖比你多。If he is helping you – be thankful.There is no reason to disrespect him because you are Type A or whatever.有一个爱是100倍,包括给孩子喂糖的爸爸,than to have a absent dad.(研究没有父亲的家庭的犯罪率)Besides,认为自己的方式是最好的,这有点骄傲!Let him parent how he wants.如果这是个大问题,私下和他谈谈。
  • 感谢他为你的家人提供帮助。If he is working,谢谢他!如果你也在工作,你还是要感谢他。记住黄金法则。Men like to be providers – let him know you appreciate it.
  • 对他的梦想感到兴奋,,请帮助他追捕他们!你可能对在加利福尼亚海岸外标记鲨鱼不感兴趣,but if he is – learn a little bit about it!帮助他研究他的梦想并鼓励他。他会爱你的。
  • 照顾好自己,physically.Don't ‘let yourself go' because you have your man.每天穿衣服。梳梳头。无论如何,每天洗个澡!!(I won't hear any excuses) I have raised 7 babies and moved 12 times and been sleep-deprived more than I would like to remember.But there are not many days when I didn't get a shower.拜托,为了你丈夫的爱,take a shower!(3个3岁以下的孩子,anyone?去过那里)

这不是一份详尽的清单,by any means.请随时就我们如何尊重我们的丈夫发表意见和建议。

阅读本系列的其余部分在这里。

结婚31天,不,Tattling!!

结婚31天,不要喋喋不休。

No Tattling sounds a bit juvenile – I get it.But the problem remains,不管你叫它什么。Are you telling your mom/sisters/friends about your husband's weaknesses under the guise of humor?也许是作为一个共同的祈祷请求?Or just flat-out as griping??

This needs to stop.

基督徒妻子的生活中根本没有地方可以和丈夫闲聊。如果他告诉他的朋友你花了太多钱,他们都笑了,你会怎么想?或者如果他告诉他妈妈你是个多么糟糕的管家,而他从来没有干净的袜子??

你知道的,婚姻是黄金法则的好地方。

"Treat others the same way you want them to treat you.""卢克6:31

""但他确实这样对待我!He tells mean jokes 188金宝博官网about me to his buddies!!"OK,that is a hard place to be.我明白了。I have watched men do this to their wives,它不像基督。这是自私和残忍的。但作为基督徒,you must treat him the same way you would any other sinner: with love and kindness,always desiring that he would come to repentance.

She openeth her mouth with wisdom;and in her tongue is the law of kindness.箴言31:26

你们要在外邦人中行事为妙,以致他们在这件事上诽谤你,说你是作恶的,因为你的善行,as they observe他们,请glorify God in the day of visitation.1 Peter 2:12

他们(信徒)不能诽谤任何人,也必须避免争吵。相反,他们应该温柔,对每个人都要表现出真正的谦逊。提多书3:2

这是福音中没有人愿意面对的部分:死亡归我。Because death is unpleasant!但是如果我们说我们相信圣经,and we say we are obedient to Christ – then we need to treat everyone with kindness and not gossip.没有闲聊。不要向你的朋友诉苦。即使他做了。我喜欢伊丽莎白·乔治的话,在她美妙的book妻子:

你的目标是成为上帝心仪的妻子,治愈,用你的话服事你的丈夫,不要把他砍断,你的鲁莽话就像刀刺,或者他们可以分散那些促进健康的点心,edifies,鼓励,把恩典传给你丈夫。(Ephesians 4:29) -fromA Wife After God's Own Heart

如果你有一个不一致?我总是,always advocate for prayer first.Pray fervently,每天。God and the Holy Spirit can do far more than your nagging and complaining.Yes,there is a time and place for getting outside help.但只是那些让你恼火的琐碎小事?不。别把他扔到车下给你妈妈。没有闲聊。

阅读本系列的其余部分酒店雇员和饭馆雇员.

结婚31天,不要让事情在你之间堆积。

结婚31天;不要让事情在你之间堆积。

你知道你不应该让事情在你之间堆积,但当你进入战斗分歧,and you just want peace,或者睡觉,or your own way,or maybe life is so crazy-busy that you just don't take time to talk things through.

First thing you know – a bit of coldness toward your husband is creeping into your heart.不是愤怒。不是苦。只是一个将军“Meh”。也许你们两个不同意一些你无法克服的事情。如果你不同意原则和价值观,it is really hard to get past that.

也许你认为:“没什么大不了的,我应该克服它!"你把它填满,or you try to forget it.But once there is something you refuse to work through – soon there is more.I have found that talking about stuff is the key to keeping communication open.在某个问题上你可能永远不会同意。但你可以有一个平静的,尽管如此,热爱婚姻。

It's like a brick wall – I am sure you've heard this comparison before – one brick is not a big deal,但很快它就成了一堵一英里高的墙。Then it is next to impossible to move!So don't allow even one brick between you!你可能不得不妥协,you may have to die to self,你可能需要更好地解释自己。但保持沟通。

我和我丈夫已经解决了一些非常大的分歧。Do we see everything 100% the same way?不。We are human,不同的背景,different personalities,different stories.但我们跟随同一个耶稣。我们读的是同一本圣经。我们都想要神圣的友谊之爱。So we talk.我们把事情搞得一团糟。最后,though,I believe the Scripture that says:

"妻子,,请被摄体to your own husbands,至于上帝。 因为丈夫是妻子的头,as Christ also is the head of the church,他本人存在身体的救世主。 But as the church is subject to Christ,还有妻子们应该是to their husbands in everything.""以弗所书5:22-25

所以继续努力沟通,my friends.Keep things clear and open between you.100年后这会重要吗?If the answer is no,那就放手吧。🙂

阅读本系列的其余部分酒店雇员和饭馆雇员.

结婚31天;技术。

结婚31天,Technology

科技是我与之有爱/恨关系的事物之一。我是说,很明显,科技让我的生活如此简单,帮了我这么多!但是,it also can be distracting and frustrating(!!)阻碍真正的关系。

你听过关于妻子在网上增加信用债务的笑话,or husbands who play video games all the time.悲哀地,this is all too common.现在,我们有智能手机可以加入其中;we can buy and play with a swipe of our thumb.

生活在虚拟的生活中而不是真实的生活是很容易的——太容易了。与朋友1聊天,千里之外,而不是和我们坐在沙发旁边的人说话。To share our beliefs and the Gospel with someone in a different state instead of with our neighbor.To invite friends to online ‘parties' instead of inviting them over for coffee.

这在婚姻中意味着什么??

我们首先要记住这一点;这就是我们生活的世界。You ain't gonna change it,friend.没有人会回到1988年。(除了一些预付款,maybe) This is our new world.Don't mourn and fuss and whine about the good old days.That's what my grandpa said,同样,他一直养马到1960年!(或附近的某个地方)我是说,有一个地方可以放老式的东西和简单的东西,I agree.但有一点……

第二,科技可以是真正的福祉!You can read blogs on marriage 😉,获取金融工具,找到工作,找到约会的想法和停留的地方。You can learn a new skill.你可以看电影。你可以听布道,找到圣经学习。科技有这么多好处。

OK,but is it a blessing or a curse in marriage??

撒旦想把它带到我们之间。He wants to make it a curse.他是个狡猾的敌人,想让我们打架,大惊小怪。HE wants to tear us apart any way he can!技术当然可以做到这一点。But God wants to make it a blessing.We have the same Saviour in 2017 as we had in 1988.我们可以让撒旦利用技术来阻止我们,或者我们可以让上帝赐福。

This obviously takes two people to agree that you will not allow Satan to get a foothold.两个人同意把他们的关系放在第一位,技术第二。也许你不是真的“坐下来谈谈”,per se.We haven't.但是当技术(通常是我们的电话使用)困扰我们中的一个人时,我们以某种方式告诉对方,respectful way.我不是说我们在这方面很完美,但我们正在学习和成长。

We give each other our full attention when we talk to each other.当我们忙于上网时,我们不会互相打断。We give grace when one or the other spends extra time online or watching a riveting movie series.再一次,we're not yet perfect,但我们尽力了。

Remember the good old days where everyone ignored each other with books and newspapers?😀 Yeah,那没什么好。我知道技术已经超越了我们的生活,but we can control it,借着我们圣灵的大能。就像酒精或食物一样,它可能会成为一种需要打破的成瘾。But in the right place,这可能是一种祝福!!

结婚31天,technology

互相发短信:调情,encouraging,爱。鼓励网站,sermons online,即使是一起玩的游戏。音乐。Sending pictures of the kids.Skype。I'm sure you can think of more!!

记得;撒旦想尽一切办法把你撕碎。Jesus wants to bring you together.Technology is just a tool.别做它的奴隶,不要让它控制你。拥抱其中的美好,感谢这些优点。

如果你丈夫暗示你使用不当;listen to him.如果他用得太多,和他亲切地讨论一下。为它祈祷。But don't allow Satan to use technology to tear you apart.

阅读本系列的其余部分在这里。

31 Days to a better marriage – Date Nights

31 days to a better marriage - date nights

Do  you find it hard to have an actual ‘date night'??

我也是。

尤其是当你家里有小孩的时候,it is just hard.如果你附近有家人,你可能会想知道这是怎么回事。But if you live far from family,你一定知道我在说什么!!

We have lived far from family for years.我们有朋友,但在怀俄明州,even our friends are pretty scattered!当我们有了孩子和年幼的孩子,we just didn't have many date nights.We did get a babysitter once a year and take a night away for our anniversary.这对我们的理智和亲密来说是非常重要的。我们还试着在1-2个晚上找个保姆出去吃饭。但即使这样也很难。

But why bother??

我觉得一对夫妇独处一段时间非常重要,now and again.Even if it is only 1 time per year.Yes,你可以很接近,loving couple without ever doing it,但是坦率地说,I know very few couples who are deeply in love with each other,他们不为自己抽出时间。(我想不出任何,in fact)

"我们作为一个家庭做每件事。”That sounds wonderful and so committed – but remember that you were a couple before you were parents.如果你不出去,never take a night away,then you will need to be extra vigilant to get some time together at home.你只是不能适当地培养一个很深的人,乐于助人的,当有孩子爬到你身上听你说话时,友谊就是爱。

I know,I know.你不同意我的看法。Well,maybe I am wrong.But if you think so,让我问你:你有深度吗?loving,friendship with your husband,还是婚姻让你有点失望?我要求你诚实回答。(对你自己来说,当然。)

我尊重和尊敬他们的婚姻的人——他们说偶尔离开孩子一次。They say that the kids will be fine.他们是对的。

当我还是个年轻的妻子时,我讨厌让我的孩子们呆一夜。I thought they would be scarred for life,haha!但我丈夫鼓励我投资于我们的婚姻——我很高兴他这么做了。即使有一天晚上离开我的“孩子们”,我也不后悔。我们从未失去过“我们”的感觉,and I credit time alone as the reason.

但是如何呢??

这是棘手的部分!很难有时间,钱,or sitter.如果你有一个,你可能没有另一个。

如何找到保姆:家庭是理想的。朋友是第二好的。If you have neither – then you need to find friends!!说真的。我建议你先去教堂。Even if it isn't perfect,find a church that believes as closely to Scripture as possible.(选一个你镇上最好的)然后去教堂交朋友,为他们服务,接通他们的生活。你很快就会(希望)找到一两个愿意交换保姆的家庭。您也可以在日托中使用Drop。我没有,但我认为这是一个不错的选择。

我会说当我有了一个哺乳期的孩子,或2岁以下者,我经常带他们去。尤其是当我们离开家庭的时候。

如何找到时间:一个晚上的路程,I suggest that you put it on the calendar.我们过去常常在我们的周年纪念日休息一晚,but since we moved to WY (and ranch life) it is a bad time of year for us,所以我们把我们的夜晚带到另一个周末。但我们提前计划,每年。至少是一个初步的计划。如果我们在假期探亲,我们打算多安排一天,安排把孩子留给奶奶过夜。

对于约会之夜,我们的做法不同。If you have a set schedule,then a regular date night may work.我们没有。我们“有个想法”去约会,and go!When our kids were little,we grabbed every opportunity we could find.If we had an out-of-state sibling visiting,我们离开孩子们去约会了。

现在,我们有十几岁的孩子!!What a blessing to have built-in babysitters.我记得我觉得这一天永远不会到来!但在这里。我们爱它!😀

如何找到钱:哦,孩子。多么艰难的一次,正确的?Really,我们没有做太多花哨的事情,because we are not rich folk.We would absolutely love to travel overseas or even just to Yellowstone for a weekend getaway.但实际上,我们就是不能。唯一的例外是我们10周年纪念日。我们拯救了,然后挥霍,and went to Washington D.C.for several days.这是一个巨大的款待,and a trip that gave us many good memories.

For dates,我们有时出去吃饭,sometimes just ice cream!Right now we live far enough from town,当我们能成功的时候,我们将一起进城。我们在商店里走来走去,picking up what we need,(not groceries)  then get a burger or ice cream on the way home.

随着年龄的增长,我们的约会变得更简单、更有意义。开车两个小时进进出出是一个很好的约会。在不花钱的情况下,检查水或放矿物质是另一种聚在一起的方式。

孩子们小的时候,我们会让他们早点睡觉,然后拿出一些特别的食物和饮料,在沙发上约会。

通常是周年纪念日,我们在附近城市的一家旅馆住了一晚。我们在外面吃饭,可能会去看电影或当地人,便宜的吸引力。

On leaner years,我们会给孩子们找个保姆,然后拿一个披萨和一些汽水,and rent a movie and go home.在某些方面,that was as relaxing as anything!Very inexpensive,very private,包装/开箱无障碍。

I highly recommend you try this!尤其是你的保姆,你可以轻松得到一个晚上!!

I hope I have sparked an interest in you to make time for your marriage!也许你不能休假一个周末。也许你需要让孩子们睡觉,点上蜡烛,穿上衣服。Maybe you just need to say YES next time he asks you to go check water.更好的是——你要求继续,那就要有意思,乐于助人,不要打电话。😉

阅读系列的其余部分酒店雇员和饭馆雇员.